Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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