kristin has been a bad kristin
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just high enough for therapy.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
