im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
