So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
