im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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