allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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