"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
