:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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