call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
