and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
