he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
