thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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