And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
