im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
