Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
