So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Im part way to drunk.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
