All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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