I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
