chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
