Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
is wine microwaveable?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
