you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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