Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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