She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
