I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
