Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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