it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize