She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
