and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
