im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
