that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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