honey bunches of taint.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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