is your mom at the bar?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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