Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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