what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
