the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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