I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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