I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
