turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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