doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
