so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
