Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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