we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
