KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
