Capitaan dildo arrescate!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
