Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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