It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize