Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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