absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
