I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
