Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
