would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
