tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Randomize
