1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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