Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
