I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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