I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
