I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
