We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
