I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
