I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
