i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
