dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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