so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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