I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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