apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Four minutes until I can fart!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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